Beyond the Milestones: Character, Covenant, and the Quiet Work of the Spirit

As a Member in Discernment (MID) in the United Church of Christ, the last three years have been marked by a profound transition in my life. It is easy to view the ordination process as a series of requirements: courses completed, papers written, committees met. But underneath the tangible tasks of preparation, I recognize that a deeper, quiet work of the Spirit has been at play. I have come to understand that readiness for spiritual leadership cannot be measured by academic milestones. This journey has not just been about learning how to do ministry; it has been about allowing God to reshape my entire character for service - a spiritual growth that happens in God's timing and always in relationship with others.

Building Community & Sharing God's Love for All

With a 30-year corporate background defined by a proven track record of academic and professional achievement, it might be natural to expect that I would approach this path with the same goal-oriented, checklist-driven mindset. However, my journey of discernment has been far different and infinitely richer than simply checking off items on the rather significant list provided by the Committee on Ministry. I have come to see that each requirement on that list is not a mere hurdle, but a doorway to community and relationship. Every milestone has represented community built, deep and intimate encounters with other human beings and the divine, a wrestling with profound theological questions within communities of faith, and truly transformational experiences with God's beloved children. Each item on that checklist has brought me closer to God and deepened my faith.

Looking back over these three years, I see a map of spiritual development defined not by where I have arrived, but by how my heart has been broken open, stretched, and tethered to the divine in ways I never could have anticipated.

The Creative Power of Disruption: Faithfulness Beyond My Imagination

This understanding of formation was not forged in a vacuum of ease, but through a season of profound personal disruption. Midway through this ministerial journey, the sudden loss of my job forced an unexpected relocation from Phoenix to Dallas. In an instant, my family’s life was uprooted, and my own carefully constructed vision of my future was seriously disrupted.

Yet, looking back, I see this challenging transition as an invaluable life experience. It was in the midst of this uprooting that I witnessed the enormous faithfulness of God in my life, deepening my faith and revealing the brilliant, creative power of the Holy Spirit. Though my plans were upended, I was held. I followed a path I did not design, but one that God had lovingly prepared.

I know now that my future in ministry will likely never be a straight line, nor will it always look like what I expect - and I have come to know that that is okay. God has created me to be resilient. When I remain faithful in God, I can find a deep peace and a holy purpose that exist far outside the limits of my own imagination.

Learning Humility Under the Bridge

It was this very relocation that brought me to Dallas, where my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program became one of the most transformative crucibles of my journey. It was there that the intellectual concepts of "cultural humility" and "pastoral presence" ceased to be textbook definitions and became lived realities. CPE challenged my instinct to "fix" or to provide easy theological answers, guiding me instead toward a posture of radical listening.

This lesson in pastoral humility culminated unexpectedly one morning in Dallas on my way to a business meeting. I keep "blessing bags" filled with basic necessities in my car - a small practice of solidarity lovingly prepared every month by volunteers at Cathedral of Hope. That day, I pulled over beneath a bridge to share these bags with two unhoused neighbors resting there. What could have been a simple transaction became a holy, five-minute encounter.

Under that bridge, we shared and celebrated our common humanity while I offered a ministry of presence and a deep recognition of their human dignity before we went on our separate ways. I ended by inviting them to be honored guests at Cathedral of Hope’s Saturday breakfast program, and told them I hoped I’d see them again.

A similar occurrence took place when a breakfast program participant recognized me as a pastoral care provider while leaving a Best Buy store. We lingered in the Texas heat in the store’s parking lot, asking about each other’s wellbeing, and he shared with me what the breakfast program meant to him. I was deeply moved by this sacred moment of connection.

CPE has taught me the practice of ignoring social positions, socioeconomic status, race, life circumstances, and other socially constructed differences to see all people as beloved children of God. Interactions that might have brought me fear in the past now bring me joy and feed my soul.

Another encounter at Cathedral of Hope introduced me to a young man who was experiencing an acute episode of schizophrenia, navigating vivid, terrifying auditory hallucinations that were, to him, completely real. In the past, I might have felt anxious about meeting with someone going through something so serious that I could not understand or offer solutions. In fact, I did feel a deep sense of inadequacy to meet his needs. Nevertheless, grounded in the pastoral humility I practiced in CPE, I acknowledged and moved through my discomfort, sat with him in a quiet room, and affirmed his suffering, his humanity, and his strength for just showing up to talk to me. I listened. I did not try to correct his reality or preach at his pain or change his embedded theology of good and evil. In those 30 minutes, in the quietness of a conference room, tears flowed and the ground became holy, and he left with the referral he needed to get free or low-cost medical care.

These encounters have reframed my entire understanding of ministry. I realized that my call is not to be a savior, but to be a conduit of God’s extravagant, unconditional love. All my pastoral care encounters have broadened my horizons, opening my heart to see the Imago Dei - the image of God - shining brightly in places society teaches us to overlook or be fearful of. I began to feel and encounter the Divine not just in the quiet of a sanctuary, but in all places and in all people.

The Breath of the Covenant: Expanding the Ecclesial Table

To be UCC is to be a people of covenant, and over the past three years, my understanding of covenant has expanded through rich, diverse ecclesial relationships. I have engaged in deep covenantal relationships with two distinct local UCC congregations - First Church Phoenix UCC and Cathedral of Hope Dallas - each possessing its own unique theology, culture, and worship style. Navigating these differences, and holding both communities close to my heart throughout my relocation, taught me that unity in Christ does not require uniformity; rather, our covenant is strong enough to hold our diversity.

Beyond my local congregations, I have stepped into the wider ecumenical and interfaith landscape. I have provided pulpit supply for Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and Presbyterian Church (USA) congregations, experiencing the beautiful nuances of our sister denominations. Seeking an even broader understanding of the Holy, I have attended various other worshiping communities, including Jewish temples, noting both the uniqueness and commonality of our Abrahamic faiths. And working for a Muslim-owned company in Arlington, TX, I have also come to know the deep goodness and faithfulness of our Muslim siblings.

Each space I entered expanded my theological vocabulary. I watched how different communities pray, how they lament, how they celebrate, and how they embody the Gospel or their sacred texts. These experiences have not weakened my UCC identity; rather, they have rooted it deeper, affirming our denomination's historical commitment to ecumenism, interfaith dialogue, and the belief that "God is still speaking" in a multitude of tongues.

Deliberative Theology in Community

Spiritual growth requires both an open heart and a disciplined mind. My formation has been anchored by the academic and communal rigor of completing 14 courses with Pathways Theological Education. Alongside this coursework, my two-year engagement with the Project Proclaim preaching cohort has been a source of immense professional and spiritual vitality.

These spaces kept me in a constant state of deliberative theological practice. I was not studying in a vacuum. Week after week, I was in deep, sometimes challenging conversation with dozens of other believers, peer pastors, and progressive thought leaders. Together, we wrestled with Scripture, history, and the urgent questions of our time. This collective study prevented my theology from becoming static. It forced me to constantly evaluate my beliefs in the context of a living, breathing Christian community, deepening my faith through the gift of shared discernment. In doing so, I learned to rely on the collective wisdom of the communities around me, recognizing that intellectual growth is not an individual achievement, but a shared calling to be experienced together.

Resisting Empire, Pacing the Kingdom

This academic and communal theological reflection became particularly urgent as I observed the shifting cultural landscape. Over the past three years, the specter of Empire - characterized by systemic injustice, Christian nationalism, marginalization, and the idolization of power - has visibly strengthened its grip on the United States.

In response, my understanding of Jesus and His gospel has undergone a radical shift. I have come to see Jesus’s mission not as an abstract escape from the world, but as a direct, compassionate, and subversive challenge to the empires of His day. This realization has set my soul on fire, deepening my thirst for justice and centering my call on standing with the marginalized, the oppressed, and the forgotten.

Yet, true spiritual maturity requires balance. While my prophetic passion for justice has been lit ablaze, my pastoral heart has been tempered by what I can only call the "speed of church."

I have learned that systemic change and spiritual transformation do not happen overnight. The local church moves at a relational pace - a speed dictated by pastoral care, patience, collective decision-making, and the slow work of building trust. I have had to learn to hold these two realities in tension: a fierce, urgent hunger for God’s justice, alongside a gentle, patient pastoral love that meets congregations and individuals exactly where they are on their spiritual journeys.

Looking Forward

These past three years have stripped away my illusions of self-sufficiency and replaced them with a profound reliance on God’s grace. Through the classrooms of Pathways, the sanctuaries of First Church Phoenix and Cathedral of Hope, the holy ground under a Dallas bridge, and in the quietness of a conference room, I have been shaped for ministry.

I offer this reflection to all those who are walking with me on this journey, not as a final stamp of completion, but as a testament to an ongoing spiritual shaping. Relying on God's mysterious timing and leaning heavily upon the insights of the congregations and leaders who support me, I hold this season of transition with a receptive and peaceful heart. I am ready to continue walking, listening, and serving as a conduit of God’s transforming love - at the speed of church, and in the urgent light of the Gospel.