Proposed Guidelines for UCC COMs: Ethical Non-Monogamy in Ministerial Authorization and Adjudication

The United Church of Christ's (UCC) Committees on Ministry (COMs) currently lack specific guidance on addressing individuals in ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships in authorization and adjudication. Grounded in the UCC's core principles of covenant, extravagant welcome, and justice, these guidelines assert that the ethical practice of relationships, rather than their structure, is paramount. By applying existing frameworks like the Manual on Ministry, the Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers, and the UCC Ministerial Code, COMs can ensure consistent, theologically sound discernment processes that uphold the integrity of authorized ministry while fostering an inclusive environment for all.

NOTE: THIS DOCUMENT WAS WRITTEN BY CHRISTOPHER SCHOUTEN, MID, SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE of the UCC, AND SUBMITTED TO MESA IN THE SUMMER OF 2025 FOR CONSIDERATION. IT IS NOT AN APPROVED MESA or UCC DOCUMENT. IT MAY HOWEVER BE REFERENCED BY THE UCC's AUTONOMOUS COMMITTEES ON MINISTRY (COMs) LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE AND PERSPECTIVE ON THIS ISSUE IF THEY SO WISH.

Introduction: Purpose and Context of the Policy

The United Church of Christ, known for its enduring commitment to an "extravagant welcome" and its progressive theological stance, continuously engages in discerning God's ongoing revelation in light of new knowledge and understandings of lived human experience contemporary life.¹³ This includes an evolving comprehension of human sexuality and relationship structures. As the UCC has historically been at the forefront of addressing progressive social issues, it is imperative that it provides clear guidance on emerging relational forms within its communities.⁴ In recent years, there has been increasing visibility and understanding of diverse relational configurations, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM), within broader society and, by extension, within faith communities.¹ The presence of individuals and clergy who identify as ethically non-monogamous within the UCC necessitates a clear and consistent approach to ministerial authorization and oversight.

While the UCC possesses a robust history of affirming LGBTQ+ individuals and diverse expressions of sexuality, having ordained the first openly gay person in 1972 and declaring itself "Open and Affirming" in 1985 ⁵, explicit denominational policy specifically addressing ENM for clergy and candidates has not been formally articulated.³ The increasing visibility of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) within society and the church has, unfortunately, been accompanied by documented instances of prejudicial treatment against individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships in some church settings and by some Committees on Ministry.¹ This reality underscores the urgent need for a clear and consistent approach to ministerial authorization and oversight that upholds the UCC's values of justice and inclusivity. The reality within congregations often precedes formal policy, creating a need for proactive guidance for Committees on Ministry (COMs).³ COMs are tasked with the essential ministry of authorizing and overseeing ministerial standing within Associations and Conferences.⁸

This document offers a clear, consistent, and theologically grounded framework of guidelines for COMs on how to approach ENM in the context of ministerial ordination requirements and fitness reviews. It seeks to ensure that all decisions are consistent with UCC theology, the Manual on Ministry (MOM), the Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers, and the UCC Ministerial Code ⁸, while respecting the inherent autonomy of local churches, Associations, and Conferences within the UCC's covenantal polity.⁷ The MOM serves as the primary "living guide" and "resource for shared expectations" for COMs, and this policy builds upon its foundational framework.⁸

The UCC's "extravagant welcome" and "Open and Affirming" stance, historically applied to LGBTQ+ individuals, suggest a broader principle of inclusivity. The "Sexuality and Our Faith" document, a key UCC resource, emphasizes "mutuality, love, and justice" as central criteria for ethical sexual behavior and explicitly states the need to "avoid double standards and avoid using heterosexual and cisgender people, experiences, and relationships as normative for all people".¹³ Discussions within the UCC have already begun to explore ENM, with a webinar focusing on "consent, welcome," and the idea that "affirming the validity of polyamory and welcoming polyamorous people is both a justice issue and a religious duty".¹ This indicates that the UCC's progressive theological trajectory and commitment to justice naturally extend its welcome beyond sexual orientation and gender identity to encompass diverse relationship structures like ENM, provided they are practiced ethically. This is not an introduction of new theological principles, but rather an application of existing ones to a newly visible relational context.

Furthermore, the Manual on Ministry is described as a "living guide" and a "grounding perspective".⁸ While it provides detailed procedures for authorization and oversight, it does not explicitly mention ENM.¹⁴ This suggests that the MOM is designed to be interpreted and applied to new situations and evolving understandings of ministry and human relationships, rather than being a static, exhaustive list of acceptable behaviors. Its dynamic nature implies that COMs are empowered to discern how its principles apply to contemporary issues like ENM, consistent with the broader UCC theological framework. This policy, therefore, serves as an interpretive lens for COMs, enabling them to apply existing guidelines to the context of ENM with theological integrity, recognizing that it is a set of guidelines meant to be of help, rather than a strict mandate.⁷

Theological Foundations for Relationships and Ministry in the UCC

The United Church of Christ's approach to human relationships and ministry is deeply rooted in its theological understanding, which emphasizes covenant, justice, and an expansive welcome. These foundational principles provide the framework for evaluating all aspects of a minister's life, including their personal relationships.

Covenantal Theology and Relational Ethics

The UCC understands itself as a covenantal church, where relationships are characterized by "mutuality, transparency, accountability," and a shared desire to represent Christ.¹⁵ This covenantal understanding extends to relationships with God, among people as the Body of Christ, and within and beyond the Church.¹⁵ Ministry itself is understood as a call into "holy relationship with one another, sharing our joys and sorrows, building each other up in truth and love, and exhorting us to forgive and seek forgiveness".¹¹

Because the ethical quality of a relationship is central to our faith, the specific structure—monogamous or non-monogamous—is secondary to whether it embodies these covenantal values. If practiced with integrity, ENM aligns with UCC theology, extending the denomination's "Open and Affirming" tradition beyond sexual orientation to encompass diverse relationship forms.

Sexuality as a Gift: Mutuality, Love, and Justice

The UCC affirms that "sexuality and spirituality are intricately connected and that both are gifts from God".¹³ When making decisions about sexuality, the primary guide is "God's call to love and justice," as revealed in both the Old and New Testaments.¹³ The "norms of mutuality, love, and justice" are the central criteria for judging whether behavior is ethical or unethical.¹³ Conversely, sexuality is distorted by behaviors, attitudes, and systems that foster "violence, exploitation, infidelity, assertion of power, and the treatment of persons as objects".¹³

A just sexual morality, according to the UCC, explicitly calls for avoiding "double standards" and not using "heterosexual and cisgender people, experiences, and relationships as normative for all people".¹³ This principle is critical for assessing ENM. Furthermore, a responsible and mature sexual ethic respects the "moral agency of every person," granting individuals "freedom and responsibility to choose".¹³ The church, at all levels, is encouraged to be a context for discussion about human sexuality and to advocate for those who have been sexually oppressed or victimized.¹³

The explicit statement that "mutuality, love, and justice" are the central criteria for ethical sexual behavior, not specific relationship structures, broadens the ethical lens beyond monogamy. The directive to "avoid double standards and not use heterosexual and cisgender people, experiences, and relationships as normative for all people" further reinforces a non-prescriptive approach to relationship forms. This theological stance provides a strong basis for evaluating ENM on its ethical merits rather than its deviation from monogamy.

Inclusivity and the Open and Affirming Tradition

The UCC has a long-standing commitment to "extravagant welcome" ¹ and has been a leader in affirming LGBTQ+ individuals, welcoming people of all sexual orientations and gender identities into full membership and ministry.⁵ The ordination of the first openly gay person in 1972 and the General Synod's declaration of "Open and Affirming" in 1985 underscore this historical commitment.⁷ The Open and Affirming (ONA) Coalition advocates for LGBTQ+ justice and inclusion, equipping UCC congregations to embody Christ's extravagant affirmation.⁶

While General Synod resolutions are not binding on autonomous local churches, they are held in "highest regard".⁷ This allows for diversity of opinion while encouraging a shared journey towards greater inclusivity. The UCC's journey with LGBTQ+ inclusion demonstrates a pattern of discerning and affirming marginalized identities and relationship forms. While ENM is distinct from sexual orientation, the underlying theological principles of "extravagant welcome" and challenging normative assumptions about relationships are directly applicable.¹³ This historical trajectory creates a strong precedent for the UCC to extend its inclusive embrace to ethically practiced ENM, viewing it as a logical next step in living out its commitment to justice and love for all people. This also highlights the tension between national guidance and local autonomy, meaning the policy must be framed as guidance rather than a rigid mandate.

Table 1: Key UCC Theological Principles Guiding Relationships and Sexuality¹³

Principle	Description
Sexuality as a Gift from God	Sexuality and spirituality are intricately connected and are both divine gifts.
God's Call to Love and Justice as Primary Guide	Decisions about sexuality are guided by God's call to love and justice, as revealed in Scripture.
Mutuality, Love, and Justice as Central Criteria for Ethical Behavior	Ethical behavior in relationships expresses mutuality, love, and justice. Unethical behaviors (violence, exploitation, infidelity, assertion of power, objectification) distort sexuality.
Avoiding Double Standards and Heteronormativity	A just sexual morality avoids double standards and does not use heterosexual/cisgender relationships as the sole norm.
Respect for Moral Agency	A responsible sexual ethic respects individual freedom and responsibility in ethical choices.
Extravagant Welcome and Inclusivity (Open and Affirming)	God's affirmation extends to all people, including LGBTQ+ individuals, welcoming them into the full life and ministry of the church.

Understanding Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)

To provide effective guidelines, it is essential to establish a common understanding of ethical non-monogamy within the context of UCC ministry.

Definitions and Principles of ENM

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term encompassing relationship structures where all involved parties consent to have multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships. This practice is characterized by "honesty and open communication" among all partners.² It is fundamentally distinct from infidelity or cheating, as all actions within ENM are "aboveboard and ethically conducted, with respect for everyone's boundaries and feelings".¹⁷

Key principles that define ethical non-monogamy include:

• Consent: All partners freely and enthusiastically agree to the relationship structure and its evolving dynamics.¹

• Honesty & Open Communication: Transparent and ongoing dialogue about feelings, boundaries, and relationship dynamics is essential for the health and integrity of ENM relationships.¹⁷

• Respect: Valuing the autonomy, feelings, and well-being of all individuals involved in the relationship network.¹

• Mutuality & Accountability: Relationships are built on shared understanding, support, and responsibility among all partners.¹

• Justice: All sexual activity is characterized by a respect for the equal dignity of persons and the avoidance of any form of violation - such as coercion, betrayal, or injustice - toward oneself or others.²²

ENM encompasses various forms, such as polyamory (high emotional and sexual autonomy), open relationships, and swinging (both with high sexual autonomy but high emotional exclusivity). The specific structure of the ENM arrangement is less important than the consistent adherence to its ethical principles.²

ENM within the UCC Context: Current Discussions and Realities

The UCC has actively engaged in discussions surrounding ENM. A May 2021 webinar titled "Consensual Non-Monogamy and Faith" highlighted that ENM is an "existing and significant reality in the UCC".¹ This discussion emphasized that "ethical polyamory is not the same thing as cheating, it's not the same thing as promiscuity, it's not the same thing as authoritarian, patriarchal polygamy"; rather, it is "fundamentally grounded in covenant and in mutual respect among all partners".¹

Reports indicate that some UCC pastors are openly non-monogamous and have found affirmation within their congregations.² This demonstrates that, at the congregational level, ENM is already being integrated into ministerial life, contrasting with the policies of some other denominations.³ However, it is also acknowledged that ENM "remains a difficult concept for some to understand or accept" and that some polyamorous people "don't feel supported enough to admit their relationship status within UCC contexts".¹ This highlights the ongoing need for clear denominational guidance and support.

The critical distinction for COMs is not the number of partners, but the quality of the relationships. When practiced with consent, honesty, and respect, ENM reflects the same "mutuality, love, and justice" the UCC requires of all ethical behavior. Conversely, any relationship characterized by deception, coercion, or abuse of power constitutes misconduct, regardless of its structure.

The observation that "some polyamorous people 'don't feel supported enough to admit their relationship status within UCC contexts'" ¹ points to an internal inconsistency between the UCC's stated values of "extravagant welcome" and the lived experience of some members and ministers. A formal policy provides clarity and legitimization, potentially reducing this stigma and fostering an environment where individuals feel safe to be open about their ethical relationship structures. This policy itself serves as a step towards greater internal consistency and a more fully realized welcome.

UCC Ministerial Authorization: Ordination Requirements

The process of authorizing ministry in the United Church of Christ is a rigorous and covenantal journey overseen by Committees on Ministry. The assessment of candidates, including those in ENM relationships, must align with these established procedures and criteria.

Overview of the Manual on Ministry and COM Role

The Manual on Ministry (MOM) is the foundational guide for Committees on Ministry (COMs) in authorizing ministry within the UCC.⁸ COMs are responsible for overseeing ministerial formation and authorization within local Associations and Conferences acting as Associations.¹⁰ The process typically involves a "Member in Discernment" (MID) period, during which individuals are in covenant with their home congregation and a COM, receiving support and counsel as they prepare for ordained ministry.¹⁰

Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers

The "Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers" are crucial assessment criteria used by COMs to evaluate a candidate's qualifications, irrespective of their educational path.¹⁰ These Marks guide the discernment process, ensuring that candidates possess the spiritual depth, theological understanding, and relational capacity necessary for the multifaceted demands of ministry.⁸ While the specific Marks are not detailed in the provided information, their purpose is to assess a candidate's overall fitness, including their spiritual maturity, relational integrity, and accountability.⁸

The "Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers" are used to assess a candidate's overall qualifications.¹⁰ Ethical non-monogamy, by its very definition, requires advanced communication skills, emotional intelligence, careful boundary setting, and a high degree of transparency and consent.¹⁷ Therefore, a candidate's ability to navigate ENM relationships ethically can actually serve as a demonstration of strength in certain Marks, particularly those related to relational health, transparency, and accountability, rather than being an automatic disqualifier. COMs should view this as an opportunity to assess these critical competencies in a unique context, recognizing that successful navigation of complex relational dynamics can be a valuable asset for ministry.

Covenantal Relationships in Ministry Formation

Ministerial standing in the UCC is deeply rooted in covenantal relationships: between the individual, their local church, their ministry setting, and the Association.⁸ These commitments are formalized through "Three-Way," "Four-Way," or "Five-Way Covenants," which document the mutual expectations and accountability among these parties, ensuring a shared mission on behalf of the United Church of Christ.⁸

Covenants are central to ministerial authorization, documenting mutual expectations and accountability.⁸ Ethical ENM is also described as being "grounded in covenant and in mutual respect among all partners".¹ This suggests that the existing covenantal framework can readily accommodate ENM by requiring candidates to demonstrate the same level of transparency, clear communication, and mutual agreement within their personal ENM relationships as is expected within their professional covenants. The alignment of a candidate's personal ENM covenants with the broader principles of ministerial covenant (transparency, accountability, mutuality) becomes a critical measure of their overall integrity and fitness for ministry. This means COMs should explore how the candidate's ENM relationships reflect these values, not just their existence.

Basic Qualifications for Ordination

The basic qualifications generally required of ordained ministers in the UCC include:

• Acknowledgment of Jesus Christ as the sole Head of the Church.¹⁰

• Membership in a local church of the United Church of Christ.¹⁰

• Demonstrated knowledge and affirmation of the history, polity, and practices of the UCC.¹⁰

• Completion of a bachelor's degree and a Master of Divinity degree, or an equivalent course of study and formation that prepares them for ordained ministry.¹⁰

UCC Ministerial Oversight: Fitness Reviews

The oversight of existing ministers through fitness reviews is a critical function of Committees on Ministry, ensuring the integrity and ethical conduct of authorized ministry within the UCC.

Purpose and Process of Fitness Reviews

A fitness review is a disciplinary action initiated when information surfaces that calls into question an authorized minister's continued fitness for ministry in and on behalf of the United Church of Christ.²⁰ The detailed process is outlined in Section 2, Article 6 of the 2018

Manual on Ministry.¹⁴ This process involves:

1. Initial Assessment: The COM chair and Association/Conference staff determine if a concern warrants a full fitness review.¹⁴

2. Committee Decision: The full COM prayerfully considers a redacted case and votes to initiate a review if the concern calls into question the minister's fitness.¹⁴

3. Preparation: The COM summarizes the concern within the context of the UCC Ministerial Code, identifies a Response Team, creates interview questions, and notifies the minister, the person raising the concern, and the ministry setting.¹⁴

4. Information Gathering: The Interview Team gathers relevant information through interviews and documentation, with the minister having an opportunity to review and respond to summaries.¹⁴

5. Deliberation: The COM receives the information and deliberates, allowing both the minister and the person raising the concern to share perspectives.¹⁴

6. Decision: The COM makes a decision regarding the minister's fitness and capacity to adhere to the UCC Ministerial Code.¹⁴

The overarching goal of fitness reviews is to uphold the "integrity of the pastoral office," address misconduct, and ensure "ministerial accountability".²⁰ This process requires the "highest level of trust" and "deep ethical foundations" from ministers, along with "clear and appropriate boundaries".²¹

UCC Ministerial Code and Expected Behaviors

All persons with ministerial standing in the United Church of Christ are expected to abide by the UCC Ministerial Code.¹¹ Key expectations outlined in the Code include:

• Leading a life worthy of the calling.¹¹

• Engaging in "sexually healthy and responsible behavior".¹²

• Maintaining "appropriate boundaries" in both personal and professional life.¹²

• Refraining from using one's "position, power, or authority to exploit any person".¹¹

• Honoring all confidences shared.¹¹

• Speaking the truth in love.¹¹

• Working cooperatively and collegially, standing in mutual relationships with colleagues.¹¹

• Stewarding time, talents, and financial resources responsibly.¹¹

Common Grounds for Fitness Review

While the specific reasons for fitness reviews are confidential, common grounds for initiating such a review include "sexual misconduct, drug or alcohol abuse, financial misconduct, or ministers interfering in the ministry of other clergy".²⁰ Notably, ethical non-monogamy is

not explicitly listed as a common ground for review. Fitness reviews specifically focus on "specific conduct related to the UCC Ministerial Code".²⁰

Fitness reviews should only be triggered by specific violations of the UCC Ministerial Code, such as exploitation, lack of consent, or breach of professional boundaries. The mere existence of an ENM relationship is not ground for review; however, COMs must rigorously examine whether a minister has maintained appropriate pastoral boundaries and avoided exploiting power differentials, particularly regarding partners from within a congregational context.

The Ministerial Code explicitly mentions the need to "maintain appropriate boundaries" and "not using my position, power, or authority to exploit any person".¹¹ ENM relationships, by their nature, require careful and explicit boundary setting and constant communication to prevent misunderstandings and harm.¹⁷ The power dynamics inherent in pastoral relationships (e.g., pastor-parishioner) are a constant concern in ministerial ethics. Thus, when assessing ENM in a fitness review, COMs must rigorously examine whether the minister has maintained clear boundaries, ensured genuine consent from all parties, and avoided any form of exploitation, especially given the potential for perceived or actual power imbalances in any multi-partner dynamic. This is a crucial area where ENM practices could intersect with established ethical violations if not handled with utmost integrity.

Outcomes of Fitness Reviews

The possible outcomes of a fitness review range from affirmation of standing (if concerns were unfounded), admonishment, conditional affirmation with a program of growth, censure with a program of growth, suspension of standing with a program of growth, to termination of standing.¹⁴ Programs of growth are often implemented to address identified issues and facilitate healing and behavioral change.¹⁴

Proposed Guidelines for Committees on Ministry Regarding Ethical Non-Monogamy

These guidelines translate the theological foundations and existing UCC policies into actionable directives for Committees on Ministry, ensuring consistent and theologically sound discernment regarding ethical non-monogamy.

A. For Candidates Seeking Ordination

1. Assessment of ENM in Relation to the Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers

COMs shall assess candidates in ENM relationships using the same "Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers" applied to all candidates.¹⁰ The focus must remain on the candidate's overall fitness for ministry, not the specific structure of their relationships, provided they are ethically practiced. The Marks are designed to evaluate a minister's character, spiritual maturity, and capacity for effective ministry. A candidate's engagement in ENM can provide a unique lens through which to assess their relational skills, transparency, and integrity.

Ethical non-monogamy requires exceptional communication, boundary setting, and emotional regulation.¹⁷ The "Marks" assess relational integrity and maturity. Therefore, a candidate who demonstrates successful, ethical navigation of ENM relationships may, in fact, exhibit a higher level of relational competence and self-awareness than might be typically required, which are valuable assets for ministry. This should be seen as a potential strength, not an inherent weakness.

Table 2: Application of "Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers" to ENM Candidates

Mark (General Category)	Relevance to ENM	Assessment Question for COM
1. Exhibiting a Spiritual Foundation and Ongoing Spiritual Practice	A strong spiritual foundation is required to sustain the candidate through complex relational dynamics and provide a moral framework for ethical choices. ENM practice should foster spiritual growth for all involved.	How does the candidate articulate the spiritual grounding and ethical intentionality that supports their ENM relationships?
2. Nurturing UCC Identity	Commitment to core UCC values, including covenant, 'extravagant welcome' and 'continuing testament,' must be visibly applied by the candidate to their personal relationship structures.	How does the candidate's public and private life, including their relationship structure, reflect the UCC's commitment to covenant,  justice and extravagant welcome for all people?
3. Building Transformational Leadership Skills	The emotional intelligence, advanced communication, and boundary-setting skills required to navigate ENM ethically are valuable assets for conflict resolution and collaborative leadership in ministry.	Does the candidate demonstrate the emotional regulation, communication skills, and self-awareness necessary to manage complex dynamics both in their ENM life and in a ministerial setting?
4. Engaging Sacred Stories and Traditions	The candidate must be able to integrate their relational ethic within a broader theological framework, connecting their personal life to the UCC's tradition of justice, mutuality, and love.	How does the candidate theologically ground their commitment to mutual respect, love, and justice within their ENM relationships, consistent with UCC tradition?
5. Caring For All Creation	Practicing rigorous self-care, life balance, and emotional wellness is critical when managing the demands of multi-partner relationships alongside the stresses of ministry.	How does the candidate ensure their ENM structure provides for their own well-being and life balance, and the well-being of all partners involved?
6. Participating in Theological Praxis	The candidate must demonstrate how their ENM practice aligns with the UCC Ministerial Code, ensuring their theological reflection translates into non-exploitative and boundary-conscious conduct.	How does the candidate ensure their relational choices (including ENM) embody the non-exploitative and boundary-conscious tenets of the UCC Ministerial Code?
7. Working Together for Justice and Mercy	This involves confronting injustice and practicing radical hospitality. The candidate's openness about ENM can be a form of prophetic witness, challenging societal norms that devalue diverse relationship structures.	How does the candidate advocate for the dignity of diverse relationship structures (including ENM) and challenge systemic bias, consistent with the UCC's justice tradition (e.g., ONA, WISE, A2A)?
8. Strengthening Inter- and Intra- Personal Assets	This Mark directly assesses a healthy sense of self, covenantal accountability, and strong personal integrity, all of which are uniquely demonstrated through the successful, ethical navigation of ENM.	Can the candidate clearly articulate the agreements, boundaries, and conflict resolution processes within their ENM covenants, demonstrating strong moral character and relational integrity?

2. Consideration of ENM within Covenantal Relationships

Candidates in ENM relationships are expected to demonstrate the same level of transparency, mutuality, and accountability within their personal relationships as is expected within their ministerial covenants.¹⁵ The 3/4/5-Way Covenants establish the relational expectations for authorized ministry. Candidates should be prepared to discuss how their personal relationships align with the covenantal principles of honesty, respect, and mutual support, ensuring no conflict with their ministerial call or the integrity of the church.

UCC ministry is deeply rooted in covenant.¹⁵ Ethical ENM is also described as being "grounded in covenant and in mutual respect among all partners".¹ The alignment of a candidate's personal ENM covenants with the broader principles of ministerial covenant (transparency, accountability, mutuality) becomes a critical measure of their overall integrity and fitness for ministry. This means COMs should explore how the candidate's ENM relationships reflect these values, not just their existence.

3. Emphasis on Transparency, Communication, and Ethical Practice

COMs shall inquire about the ethical practice of all significant relationships, including ENM, focusing on consent, clear communication, mutual respect, and the absence of exploitation or coercion.¹³ Candidates should be prepared to articulate how their ENM relationships embody the UCC's core ethical principles of mutuality, love, and justice. This includes demonstrating how boundaries are established and maintained, how conflicts are resolved, and how the well-being of all involved parties is prioritized.

4. Pastoral Support and Education for Candidates and COMs

COMs should offer pastoral support and educational resources to candidates navigating ENM, and seek their own education on ENM to ensure informed discernment. Recognizing that ENM may be a "difficult concept for some to understand or accept" ¹, COMs should approach these conversations with sensitivity, openness, and a commitment to learning. Resources can include the Our Whole Lives program, Conference Boundary Training, MESA guidance ⁸, relevant webinars ¹, and theological reflections on diverse relationship structures.

There is an acknowledged gap in understanding ENM within the church, with some individuals feeling unsupported.¹ Effective discernment requires COMs to be knowledgeable and unbiased. Therefore, proactive education for COMs on ENM principles and ethical practices is crucial. This not only ensures fair assessment but also models the "extravagant welcome" and commitment to justice that the UCC espouses, helping to bridge the gap between denominational ideals and lived experiences.

B. For Existing Pastors in Fitness Reviews

1. Evaluating ENM Practices Against the UCC Ministerial Code

Fitness reviews concerning a pastor's ENM relationships shall focus exclusively on whether the practices violate the UCC Ministerial Code, not on the relationship structure itself.¹¹ The Ministerial Code outlines expected behaviors, including "sexually healthy and responsible behavior" and avoiding "abusive behavior" or "exploitation".¹¹ The mere presence of an ENM relationship is not, by itself, a violation. The review must identify specific conduct that falls outside the ethical boundaries of the Code.

Fitness reviews are triggered by concerns about "misconduct".²⁰ The UCC's theological stance emphasizes ethical principles (mutuality, love, justice) over relationship structure.¹³ Therefore, the COM's inquiry should not be whether a pastor is in an ENM relationship, but how that relationship is conducted. Is it characterized by consent, transparency, and respect? Or does it involve deception, coercion, or abuse of power? This reframing is essential to avoid discriminatory practices and align with UCC theology.

2. Distinguishing Ethical Non-Monogamy from Misconduct

COMs must clearly distinguish between ethically practiced ENM and behaviors that constitute misconduct. Such misconduct, which would warrant a fitness review regardless of relationship structure, includes:

• Exploitation of power or authority: Using one's ministerial position to coerce or manipulate individuals into relationships.¹¹

• Lack of genuine consent: Engaging in sexual or romantic relationships without the free, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent of all involved parties.¹⁷

• Deception or infidelity: Engaging in relationships without the knowledge and agreement of existing partners.¹³

• Violation of professional boundaries: Engaging in relationships with parishioners or individuals over whom the pastor has pastoral authority, regardless of relationship structure.¹²

• Harm to others: Causing emotional, spiritual, or physical harm through dishonest, manipulative, or abusive behavior.¹³

These forms of misconduct are violations of the Ministerial Code irrespective of whether the relationship is monogamous or non-monogamous. The ENM framework itself emphasizes avoiding these very pitfalls. The UCC Ministerial Code and "Sexuality and Our Faith" document outline behaviors that are unequivocally unethical (exploitation, abuse, lack of consent, violation of boundaries).¹³ These unethical behaviors are problematic regardless of the relationship structure. Therefore, the core task of the COM in a fitness review is to identify if these universally unethical behaviors are present, rather than focusing on the non-monogamous nature of the relationship itself. ENM, when practiced ethically, explicitly seeks to avoid these pitfalls, making it a framework for responsible multi-partner relationships.

Table 3: UCC Ministerial Code: Relevant Sections and Interpretation for ENM in Fitness Reviews

Code Section 11	Interpretation for ENM	Potential Violation (Example)
"Engage in sexually healthy and responsible behavior."	This implies behavior characterized by consent, honesty, mutuality, and respect among all parties, distinguishing it from infidelity or promiscuity. It means the ENM relationships are transparent and agreed upon by all involved.	Engaging in non-consensual relationships, deceiving partners, or practicing ENM in a way that causes harm or violates agreements.
"Maintain appropriate boundaries and practice self-differentiation in both my personal and professional life, including within the Local Church where I hold membership."	Requires clear distinctions between pastoral relationships and personal romantic/sexual relationships. Prohibits romantic/sexual relationships with parishioners or individuals over whom the pastor has a power differential. Requires clear boundaries within the ENM structure itself to prevent harm or confusion.	Engaging in an ENM relationship with a congregant, blurring professional and personal roles, or failing to establish clear boundaries within the ENM structure leading to conflict or harm.
"Not using my position, power, or authority to exploit any person."	Absolutely prohibits using ministerial authority or influence to coerce, manipulate, or pressure individuals into any relationship, including ENM. Ensures all participation is truly voluntary and consensual.	Seeking new partners for an ENM relationship from within the congregation or exploiting a vulnerable person's trust.
"Honor all confidences shared with me; telling only those who need to know, what they need to know, when they need to know it."	Requires discretion and confidentiality regarding personal relationship details, especially those of other partners, unless explicit consent for disclosure is given.	Disclosing sensitive personal information about partners without their consent, or using confidential pastoral information in personal relationships.

3. Focus on Mutuality, Love, Justice, and Responsible Behavior

COMs shall evaluate the pastor's ENM relationships against the UCC's core theological principles of mutuality, love, and justice.¹³ This includes assessing whether the pastor demonstrates responsible self-care, maintains healthy communication with all partners, fulfills their commitments, and ensures the well-being of everyone involved in their relationships, both personal and professional.

4. Process for Addressing Concerns Related to ENM

If a concern related to a pastor's ENM practice is raised, the COM shall follow the established fitness review procedures outlined in the Manual on Ministry, Section 2, Article 6.¹⁴ This includes the initial assessment, information gathering, and deliberation process, ensuring due process, confidentiality, and fairness. The review should specifically investigate whether the ENM practices have led to violations of the Ministerial Code, such as harm to individuals, breach of trust, or disruption of the ministry setting due to unethical conduct.

Implementation and Ongoing Discernment

The effective implementation of these guidelines requires ongoing commitment to education, support, and theological reflection across all settings of the United Church of Christ.

Education and Training for COMs

It is imperative that Committees on Ministry receive ongoing education and training regarding diverse relationship structures, including ENM. This training should cover the definitions, ethical principles, and common practices of ENM, as well as how to apply the UCC's theological framework and ministerial standards in a non-discriminatory manner. Such education will ensure informed, unbiased, and theologically sound discernment processes, fostering an environment of understanding and fairness.

Pastoral Support for Ministers

Ministers, whether candidates or existing pastors, who are in ENM relationships should receive appropriate pastoral support and resources. Recognizing that ENM may be a "difficult concept for some to understand or accept" ¹ and that individuals may face unique challenges and stigmas, the UCC should strive to create a supportive environment where ministers feel safe to be open about their ethical relational choices.

Local Church Autonomy and Contextual Ministry

While these guidelines provide a denominational framework, it is crucial to reiterate and respect the inherent autonomy of local churches, Associations, and Conferences within the United Church of Christ's covenantal polity.⁷ These guidelines are not intended as a strict mandate, but rather as a resource to assist Committees on Ministry in their discernment. COMs should consider the specific context of a minister's call and the local church's understanding and reception of diverse relationship structures. However, this contextual consideration must always be balanced with the overarching ethical principles of the UCC, ensuring that ministerial conduct aligns with the

UCC Ministerial Code and the Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers. The UCC's polity model, which values the autonomy of its various settings, means that while national bodies offer guidance, the ultimate discernment often rests with the Conferences, Associations and local churches. These guidelines aim to support that discernment process by providing a consistent theological and ethical framework for addressing ENM, helping to prevent the prejudicial treatment that has sometimes occurred due to a lack of clear guidance.¹

Continuous Theological Reflection

The UCC is called to integrate God's ongoing revelation with new knowledge and understandings of human lives and times.¹³ Therefore, continuous theological reflection and dialogue within the UCC on human sexuality and relationships are essential. This ongoing discernment will ensure that the church remains responsive to the evolving needs and realities of its members and ministers, upholding its commitment to justice and extravagant welcome.

Conclusion

These guidelines reaffirm the United Church of Christ's commitment to upholding the integrity of authorized ministry through a lens of extravagant welcome, justice, and ethical discernment. The UCC's theological principles, particularly those emphasizing covenant, mutuality, love, and justice, provide a robust framework for assessing all relationships, including ethical non-monogamy.

The analysis presented demonstrates that the ethical practice of relationships, characterized by consent, transparency, honesty, and accountability, is the primary criterion for evaluation, rather than the specific structure of those relationships. When ethically practiced, ENM is consistent with the broad ethical expectations for UCC authorized ministers and should not, in itself, be a barrier to ordination or continued fitness for ministry. These guidelines are offered to assist COMs in upholding this principle and fostering an environment free from prejudice.

By adopting and implementing these guidelines, Committees on Ministry can ensure that their processes for ministerial authorization and oversight are consistent, fair, and deeply rooted in the UCC's theological heritage, fostering an inclusive environment that truly celebrates all beloved children of God.

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