A sermon given 10/13/24 at First Church Phoenix UCC
As we continue this month’s series on The Sacred Journey, we get to one of my favorite themes. One of the most sacred parts of the human journey is the connections we create with others. From the moment we are born, we reach out to connect—to get our needs met, to seek validation, to learn, to love. Sometimes when we are stuck inside ourselves, lost in anxiety, grief, or doubt, it’s often connection that helps us escape that trap and to re-enter the world to heal, or at least a brief but meaningful connection offers us the comfort we need to continue our inner work.
The benefits of connection are endless. It’s something our Creator designed us to do, and it is perhaps God’s greatest gifts to us. New and deep connections bring us joy. Sometimes connections require a lot of work, and they’re worth it! Sometimes connections have to be let go, and that can cause great grief.
But sometimes connection is easy. We find shared interests, perspectives, and values that make relationships flow smoothly. If we’re lucky, we get to have those people in our lives for a long time. In such relationships, conflicts don’t threaten the bond because we’ve built a foundation of trust and love that can weather small storms.
In my relationship with Wilbert, we’ve had our share of squabbles, but we always come out stronger because we have a set of shared values; values passed on to us through our families and our secular and spiritual educations. Things like Trust, Communication, Respect, Empathy, Commitment, Accountability, Kindness, Flexibility, Integrity, and Forgiveness—values that keep us grounded in love. These are values we embody not only in our relationship with each other, but also with friends, family, colleagues, and even neighbors. And these values are central to our covenantal relationship with one another at First Church as well. We see them lived out here every day in our midst.
These are not just good values—they are Christian values, and we see them lived out in the life of Jesus. Does that feel true to you? Can you see how these values form the foundation not only of Christian society but of American society? How they glue civilization together?
So how come the moment the subject of politics or religion comes up, do all these values pack their bags and go flying out the window? [PAUSE]
Have you noticed this? Have you experienced that moment when a simple conversation about current events at the Thanksgiving dinner table or in the line at the grocery store spirals into something heated and divisive? Why is that? Anyone had to have the conversation about the White House controlling the hurricanes yet? I hope not.
Wilbert and I moved back to the U.S. from Europe in 2018, two years after the 2016 election. Even from abroad, we could see and feel the rising tension in America, the way people began to divide into camps on Facebook and passionately argue for their candidate as if they were the only possibly logical choice one could make! It felt like people were speaking completely different languages—like they were from different tribes. Y ahora en el medio de un nuevo ciclo electoral, estamos enfrentados con el mismo fenómeno de nuevo… do you see what I mean?
For many of us, when we hear someone speaking not only a language we can’t understand, but one whose words we feel can do great harm to those we love and to the fabric of democracy itself, this can cause a lot of anxiety and fear for the future. And I think that’s what a lot of us are experiencing right now. We’re all getting a taste of what it might have been like at the Tower of Babel.
I don’t know about you, but as a Gen Xer, this level of tribalism is relatively new for me. For most of my life, political differences were just that—differences in policy. One party might support LGBTQIA+ rights, another might oppose them. One might advocate for reproductive rights, the other for traditional “family” values. But despite these disagreements, there was still a sense that we were all part of one American community. That we simply had different visions of what was right for the company, and that the outcome was not a question of life or death.
But for the last 8 years, these differences have felt more personal, more divisive and more serious. It’s not just about disagreeing on policies anymore—it’s about questioning the morality, the integrity, the patriotism or even the humanity of those who see the world differently. This is dangerous! When we fall into tribalism, we lose sight of the very thing that makes us a community and a country—our shared humanity. And we’ve seen in conflict after conflict around the world what the price of forgetting someone’s humanity is. It can be unbearably high.
I’m guilty of this kind of tribalism too. In 2016, and again in 2020, I started unfriending people on Facebook who expressed views that offended me. Some of those decisions were easy—high school classmates I barely knew. But some of them hurt. I severed ties with most of my extended family from rural Iowa, and I regret that. I gave up the chance to understand them, and I gave up the opportunity to minister to them, to model the values we talked about just now.
Have you ever been in that situation? I suspect many of you have.
As people of faith, we are all called to a higher standard, and going into ministry, I’m more and more aware of the fact that I don’t have to luxury of rejecting people whose believes are different than mine! Scripture reminds us again and again that there is no "us versus them." Colossians 3:12 tells us, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace."
This election season, as the temptation to retreat into echo chambers grows, we must resist. We are called to engage in respectful dialogue, to listen with compassion, and to remember that our shared humanity is more important than any political affiliation. But that can be really hard to do!
Why does it feel like we’re speaking different languages? Is there something deeper in human nature that drives us to hold onto our views so tightly? There is. And in order to be able to reach out “across the aisle” to others to create and maintain good human connections, we have to not only understand how they think but also understand how WE think.
Political scientist and author Jonathan Haidt discusses this shift to tribalism in one of my favorite books: The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion (2012). Haidt argues that human beings are hardwired for group-based moral thinkingthrough an evolutionary process where relationship and cooperation caused ancient humans to be better survivors in a dangerous world. Today, this natural tendency toward tribalism has been exacerbated by changes in media and the growing ideological purity of political parties.
According to Haidt, tribalism in modern American politics is driven by what he calls the "moral foundations" of care, fairness, liberty, loyalty, authority, and sanctity, which I will explain I more detail. These moral foundations influence people’s political identities and make them more likely to view politics in terms of group loyalty rather than policies or ideas.
The influence of our moral foundations is so strong, that almost EVERYTHING we say and do is based on these largely SUBCONSCIOUS principles that we are not even aware are driving us! Haidt calls them the elephant we are riding. We think we’re in control, but the elephant is so much bigger and more powerful than we are, that it’s really the elephant that is calling all the shots. And this causes us to have REALLY strong feelings about things we try to explain but can’t. We sometimes say, “Well that’s just the way things should be!”
So let’s dive into these. The first three moral foundations are particularly strong among progressively minded people and align very closely with the teachings of Jesus Christ.
1. Care vs. Harm - This foundation is rooted in our need to care for and protect others, especially the vulnerable. It emphasizes empathy and compassion for those who are suffering or in need of help. This moral foundation drives our Christian call to care for the sick, the unhoused, the marginalized, the environment, and all of God’s creation. Things that are harmful are bad and to be avoided because harm to another is harm that cold also happen to us, so we try to avoid it.
2. Fairness vs. Cheating - Fairness centers on justice, rights, and equality. This foundation compels us to uphold cooperation and condemn exploitation. It’s what drives us to fight for social justice, ensuring that all people are treated with dignity and fairness. Cheating – like taking more food that you should or not working as hard as you should - can deprive the tribe of vital resources and threaten its survival. So from an evolutionary perspective, fairness became a vital foundation to us as well.
3. Liberty vs. Oppression - This foundation is rooted in the desire for freedom from control or domination. It is at the heart of both the founding of our nation and the Protestant Reformation itself, where a cry for religious freedom and autonomy was central. It is clearly also central to the experience of all marginalized and enslaved peoples in this country and around the world who yearn for freedom. In American culture, liberty is a deeply ingrained value. It protects the foundations that this country was built on because it’s the state in which human beings can reach their full potential as fearfully and wonderfully made children of God.
You can probably see that these first three moral foundations resonate strongly with most people. But the next three—Loyalty, Authority, and Sanctity—are often emphasized more by conservatively minded people and are exploited by politicians to manipulate and control voters and believers, very often through fear.
4. Loyalty vs. Betrayal - Loyalty emphasizes allegiance to one's group—whether it's family, nation, community, politic party or presidential candidate . For many conservatives, loyalty is vital for maintaining social cohesion and tradition. It’s the moral foundation that drives patriotism and a sense of duty toward one’s country or in-group. Betraying this loyalty can feel like a moral failure to them. Progressives, however, prioritize inclusivity over loyalty, sometimes viewing excessive loyalty as exclusionary or oppressive. This is why debates about the current presidential election are so divisive; we’re looking at what it means to elect or follow a leader through very different lenses.
5. Authority vs. Subversion - Authority is about respecting traditions, leadership, and social hierarchies. For many conservatives, honoring authority—whether it's a president, our family structures, religious leaders, or societal norms—provides stability. Disrespecting these authorities can feel like a direct threat to the order that holds society together. Conversely, progressives often challenge authority and question power structures, especially when they perpetuate inequality or oppression. This tension explains the differing attitudes toward law enforcement, government regulations, and social norms between political groups.
I think these two just explained a LOT of what we see happening in politics today.
Lastly, and very much of relevance to theological debates, is:
6. Sanctity vs. DegradationThis foundation revolves around the idea of purity and the protection of what is considered sacred—whether it's the human body, religious beliefs, or cultural traditions. Many conservative groups place a high value on maintaining the sanctity of these aspects of life, seeing their degradation as harmful to both individuals and society. This is especially evident in debates around sexual ethics, religious freedom, and food practices. On the other hand, progressives often prioritize personal freedom over purity, advocating for bodily autonomy and the right to make personal choices without the constraints of traditional purity norms.
By exploring these six moral foundations, we can see that when we have political or religious differences, we are actually speaking different moral languages. Understanding this can help us bridge the divides and foster more compassionate, constructive conversations.
So understanding this, practically, how can this change how we interact with those who have different beliefs from us and reunite ourselves as one human family and one body of Christ? There is no easy answer, but I have a few suggestions.
1. Embrace Empathy and Compassion
a. As progressive Christians, we are called to love and understand others, even when we disagree. It’s a fundamental part of our congregational polity. Practicing empathy means trying to see the world through someone else’s perspective. This includes recognizing which moral foundation drives their viewpoint and acknowledging its importance to them.
b. For example, I find many people take intellectual positions on issues that don’t directly impact their lives. My neighbors have never encountered an asylum seeker, yet they fear immigrants might cause harm. While I disagree with their view, I can still empathize with their concern for fairness and safety. I might say, “I hear that fairness about who is allowed to live in this country and the safety of you and your family matter to you, and those things matter to me too.”
2. Focus on Shared Values
a. Even when opinions differ, most people share core values like care, fairness, and liberty. By emphasizing these commonalities, we can find areas of agreement.
b. In a debate about social or political issues, focus on shared values such as safety, promoting peace, or serving others in need. These common goals can serve as a foundation for more constructive dialogue.
3. Be Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen
a. James 1:19 teaches us, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” True understanding begins with deep listening before forming a response. This helps us grasp not just what someone is saying, but the deeper motivation behind it—often rooted in fear.
b. In a sensitive discussion, fully hearing the other person’s perspective before responding shows respect and creates meaningful connection. This opens the door to mutual listening, where after listening, you will hopefully get the same change to fully express your own ideas.
4. Seek Peace, Not Victory
a. Discussions about difficult topics shouldn’t be battles to win but opportunities to promote peace. Prioritize relationship over being right.
b. When engaging in conversations about politics, theology, or ethics, focus on peace and coexistence. Acknowledge differing views respectfully and seek collaboration rather than proving the other person wrong. I learned this from my parents as a teenager: look at any problem not as part of the other person but as a third entity to be looked at and resolved together as a team.
5. Try to Put a Human Face on the Issue
a. Political discussions can often become abstract, disconnected from real human experiences. Bringing the conversation back to personal stories helps foster empathy and understanding.
b. For example, some of us recently say a movie called Leap of Faith, where pastors from different denominations and theologies began to shift their views on marriage equality after personally connecting with a fellow pastor who was lesbian. It was through this direct human connection with the lived reality of her life and her struggle that their rigid positions softened. It was really beautiful to watch this happen. Similarly, in my life, I’ve seen anti-LGBTQIA+ viewpoints crumble when people meet a real human being like me who they once saw as “the enemy.” I remember once in college when a young freshman woman from rural Iowa came to me in tears after I gave a speech to her dorm floor. She said, “I can’t believe I hated you.” As she gave me a hug. It was a powerful moment of connection.
Hopefully I’ve given you a few ideas and strategies that are useful. But we all know that person who won’t even respond to our very best efforts to do ALL these things. And that’s OK. We bless them on their journey. Sometimes it’s OK to no longer engage. Especially if someone else’s viewpoint is dehumanizing or denies that we are all beloved children of God. There are a few things that are non-negotiable in our faith, and I think that is one of them.
We as a people of faith are also committed to speaking the truth and not lies. This is also biblical but seems to get lost on a lot of people who are inundated with “alternative truths” from their political candidates and social circles. So sometimes we must gently tell people: “I hope you’ll check on that idea using multiple reliable sources, because I don’t believe it’s true, but I’ll let you find out for yourself.” Don’t argue. Just pray they find their way back to the truth. Be an example of a loving, compassionate, patient human being to them if you can, but don’t subject yourself to things that are harmful for you and your own mental health. Discern wisely.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the division and vitriol that permeate every corner of our lives today, especially in times like these, when political and moral differences run so deep. But Jesus showed us the way repeatedly in his ministry, not by demanding uniformity in belief but by extending radical love to all—friend and stranger, ally and adversary alike. I hope to always model this in my ministry and in my life. And I probably have a few apologies to offer my family in Council Bluffs in hopes of restoring those relationships.
"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." This is the sacred work we are called to do as the body of Christ. Amen.
